Praying this is my month!!!!

So I don't think I could take it if I get another BFN! I would just probably break down and cry! I just want it so bad!! Its been almost a year now that we have been trying and it sucks that we haven't got our BFP yet! I just feel like a failure when I dont get my BFP month after month! I just feel like it wont ever happen. I have stopped temping and stressing about it. I have tried to stay off APA as much as possible. It just stresses me out!! I just hope this month is our month! I want a baby and I want to give that special gift to Lee. I know how much he wants it!! I just hope and pray this is my month!!!!!