Monday, December 15, 2008

Darn!!!

So I started to temp this weekend again! I think this will help me determine what is going on with my body! I don't ever really know what is going on so I hope this helps! My temps were pretty low the past two days so I don't think I am prego! If I were, my temps should be higher than what they are! I guess I will just wait it out and see what is going to happen!
So my friend had her baby on Saturday! she is a beautiful little girl! I am super excited for her!!!
So today I was supposed to start my new position at work and my supervisor decided to push it back for 2 weeks. I was a little annoyed by that, but oh well! Whatever!

Ok not much more to say!

Friday, December 12, 2008

So I tested...........and........

BFN! I figured that was going to be the case!! I guess it could still be to early! I guess I will keep my head up and just wait and see what happens! Thought maybe we got lucky this month, but I guess not! Looks like we may be moving onto 18 months of STC! At least I have some great STC girls that have been here to help me through all of this!
I am going to start temping again this weekend! At least I will be able to figure out what is going on with my body! AT least I won't freak out anymore if I can see my temps and see what is going on! Lets hope this will help me figure out my body better!
I am hoping that for Christmas I get the Wii Fit! If I don't, then I will just buy it after Christmas! I have heard lots of great things about it! I heard that it has helped people lose some weight. Well, I need to be losing some weight big time!! I don't like the way I look anymore! At least Lee still thinks I am beautiful! That makes me feel a little bit better! I just want to feel better about myself and just feel better period! I don't like carrying around all of this weight! It is not fun!
I am so excited for Christmas!!!! I can't wait! I love the get togethers, the food, the lights, and just the feeling of what Christmas is all about! We are going this weekend to look at lights and I am so excited! I love driving around and seeing what is out there!
So my friend yesterday found out she is having a girl! I am so stinking excited for her! She said for the first time, it has finally started to feel real that she is going to be a mom! She said just seeing the pic just made it so real! I am so excited for her!! I can't wait for her to have her girl! she is going to be a great mom!!

Ok well that is enough for today!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Another month late!I

So AF is late...again!!! AF should have showed up...hmmm...YESTERDAY! I hope this is not going to be another month where AF is late by like a week!! If she is gonna be late, MAKE IT BECAUSE I AM PREGO!!!! I am getting so sick and tired of waiting! I want to test because I want to see if I am prego, but I don't want another BFN! I don't think I could handle another BFN!
I am going to start temping again if I get a BFN or if AF decides to show! The only hope I hanging onto with me being actually prego is the fact that I have been peeing like CRAZY! For like the past few days I have been getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I never do that! I am usually one of those people that can sleep all the way through the night!
My best friend finds out the sex of her baby today! That is very exciting! I am still super jealous of the fact that she got pregnant only a month after she was married! She didn't even want to have kids yet! I am super excited, but super jealous at the same time! But maybe God has a plan and a reason for why she got pregnant so soon!
Another friend is about ready to have her baby! I am super excited for her! I have followed her through her entired journey and I am excited for her to give birth to her baby girl! She is nervous so I just pray that her labor and everything afterwards go smoothly! If you are reading this, good luck and I can't wait to see pictures of your beautiful baby girl!!!

Ok well that is enough for today! I will post again when I take a test and find out what is going on!!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

New Weight Loss Journal

So I have decided to make this my weight loss journal for now until I become pregnant! :)

So I have lost 1.4 lbs from a week ago! I am so excited about that! Considering that I didn't really do a whole lot! I just made sure to watch what I ate. I need to stop eating out as much and stop drinking pop as much! I think if I really set my mind to it that I can do this! I need to get this weight off!!!! I think I can do this!! I need to start exercising as well! I know that when I do exercise that I feel so much better and have a lot more energy!! It's time to do this! It's time to get this darn weight off!!! I can do it!!!!!!!!!

Monday, September 15, 2008

It's time to ask for help!

So I tested this morning after being 5 days late and got a negative. So I guess it's time to suck it up and ask for help! Time to call the ferility clinic. I just have to come to terms that Lee and I may never do this on our own and that is okay. There are people out there to help us get this going. I hope by the end of the year that we will have gotten pregnant. I don't want it to come to next July on our anniversary and still be sitting here waiting! I am hoping we can get it done!

I have decided it time to change up the diet. No more carbs. No more pasta, pizza, potatos, popcorn or chips. Only bread that is whole grain bread and only a few times a week. Carbs are my enemy! lol! I got to stop eating them. And no more pop! SO bad!! I have to do this for me! I don't want to continue to look like I am prego and really not be!

So onto making the call....hope this works for us. Keeping my fingers crossed for good things!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Stay AWAY!!!!!

So today is the day AF is supposed to show! so far so good! I pray that AF stays away for the next 9 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to see it! I am not going to get excited until I am really late. I have been a week late before and so I don't want to get excited for nothing! I just hope this is it!!!!!!!! I want to make Lee and I parents!!!

Monday, September 1, 2008

Good 3 day!

I was so happy to have a 3 day weekend! I totally needed a weekend to relax. We have been CRAZY busy at work and its going to be crazy busy this week as well! I am so stressed out at work but I am making it through. So I kind of failed at the whole diet and exercise thing. But I have decided to try again. I hate being over weight. I got sick last week and couldn't make it to the gym. I still have a pretty bad cold but hopefully that will go away soon! But I am going to try to at least walk every night if I can't make it to the gym! I want to get this weight off. I am so disgusted with myself that I don't even feel like getting up in the morning! Hopefully I can stick to it this time!
So I have 9 days until AF is supposed to show! I can't believe how fast these past couple of weeks have gone! I highly doubt we got prego this month. Lee was gone during my fertile times so I don't think we stand much of a chance but I guess we will see. I think I am going to start charting again. Hopefully that will help me get it down!

Friday, August 22, 2008

I have failed...

I just feel like I have failed. Just at life in general. I have been so upset the past few days! I feel like I have failed in my faith. I feel like I have just drifted away from my faith and feel like I have fallen away from God. I hate that feeling. Its the worst feeling EVER!!!! I have been crying for the past couple of days. Sometimes I just don't know what to do. I don't want to give up and just push God away. I couldn't do that! He is to important in my life. Even though I probably don't act like it. I need to start going to church again and start reading my bible again. When I used to do that I felt so good about everything. Everything in my life went great! And now when I need him most, I have pushed him the farthest away.
And I have failed in the whole losing weight thing. I did great for the first couple of weeks and now I have stopped. Stopped exercising and stopped eating well. What the heck is wrong with me? Why can't I just stick with something? Why do I have to fail at EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! Why??? Why can't I have more willpower to overcome things like this? Why do I have to give up every time? I just feel like I can't do anything right!!!
And maybe God is punishing me and that is why I am not getting a baby. I want to start a family so bad it makes me cry! I have always wanted a family and now when I have the chance to have one, I can't! I can't even get freaking pregnant for my husband and start a family!! Wow I am pathedic! I just am so upset with myself!!!
Why do I have to be a failure at everything??

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Back to school for me!!

So I started back to school on Monday! Wow! It's been like 2 years since I have been in school. Its a big change! Its going to be hard to work 40 hours a week and go to school. I decided to do online classes since I thought it would be easier than having to drive to class and sit in a classroom. I figured with all of the overtime that I have to put in at work, that doing online would just be easier. Than I would not have to worry about missing any classes. I can also go to class when I want to go versus having a scheduled time. I know it will be a little bit harder since I have to be the one to make myself get online and do my assignments. But so far I have done good. I got an A+ on my very first assignment so that was a nice little treat! I am hoping for lots and lots of A's!!!! Wish me luck..I WILL NEED IT!!! :)

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

What no one told you about TTC

Someone showed me this website...made me want to CRY! The ones in BOLD are the ones that relate to me so well!!!

What no one told you about Trying to Conceive...

This is a collection of thoughts from women facing the emotional rollercoaster of infertility. Some of it may make you cry, some of it may make you smile. The important thing is to realize that you are not alone in your struggle. Infertility may be the most difficult time of your life spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically and mentally. If you are personally experiencing infertility (TTC longer than 12 months) and would like to be prayed for, please email me your prayer request. God bless you.
What Nobody Told You About Trying to Conceive...

*That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy.
*That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.
*That you would see your OBGYN/RE more often than your DH at O time.
*That the longer you TTC, the more PG women spring up around you.
*That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.
*That one day you wouldn't mind checking your CM or CP to see if it is your fertile period.
*That I should have gone to medical school like my mom wanted, because I've had to do so much medical research by now just to figure out what was wrong with me, I might as well be an M.D.
*That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.
*That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm
*That you never knew how much you wanted to see those 2 pink lines......until only one shows up every month
*That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant. (your dh has to do some work too)
*That you have no control over some of the goals you set...
*That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen, and staring at your chart doesn't make it change!
*That one day my DH would know so much about how my uterus functions and what it looks like from the inside (thanks HSGs).
*That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.
*That miscarriage is so common.
*That I would wish we had started TTC earlier.
*That my friends' pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.
*That I wasted ALOT of money on Birth control pills!!
*That it would help bring a group of wonderful, caring, funny, empathetic women together like this.
*That I would EVER be willing to stick a little blue pill up my hoo-haa (estrace pill...done vaginally),
*That I'd EVER be willing to stab myself in the stomach or @ss every day in the hopes that it will help get me PG.
*That it wouldn't happen the first time you didn't use birth control like we were led to believe in school.
*That you wouldn't know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to go through to make it happen.
*That family would act like getting pregnant was a competition between all the young couples in the family, and the first one to get pg "wins".
*That my DH is the most wonderful and caring man!
*That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!
*That women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!
*That I could have been rich saving money on condoms, which were obviously unecessary.
*That I would be happy to see abundant cervial fluid and tell my DH about it.
*That other people's "good news" of pregnancy makes me sad and when they tell me they have good news, I hope that they just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.
*That medicine and procedures are not a sure fire way to get pregnant but it is a sure fire way to lose money fast.
*That had I bought stock in Clearblue Easy I'd have my mansion on St. Pete's Beach in FL by now.
*That docs should prescribe Zoloft with Clomid.
*That having flo show up makes you cry, no matter who's bathroom you are in.
*That it does not get easier, each cycle is harder than the last.Feeling like you wish your life away in 2 week increments.
*That I wouldn't want to hold or see someone's baby because it just hurts way too much.
*That a group of "strangers" who I will probably never meet, have now become my "best friends" when it comes to ttc.
*That I would splash urine on my face while taking apart an hpt in the hopes there really was a 2nd pink line hiding in it.
*That talking about sex with fellow TTCers would be so easy.
*That infertility is more common than you think.
*That DH would get used to doing his 'thing' in a jar.
*That one day all of this will make us stronger.
*That there is sometimes darkness (infertility) before the light (a baby).
*That no one I know (in my non FF life) would have any understanding as to how I feel.
*That my temper and patience are much shorter than I ever thought.
*That infertility is not as rare as I was led to believe.
*That I would find it extremely difficult to be happy for other people's pregnancies and I would burst into tears upon hearing their news.
*That my faith in God would be tested heavily.
*That I would make so many new, wonderful friends who totally get how I feel because we all suffer from the same affliction of infertility.
*That it could hurt so much to lose your innocence.
*That I am very bitter towards unmarried accidental pgcys, and slightly bitter towards married accidental pgcys.
*That there is nothing to aid conception in the water at work, despite what some may say.
*That I am so glad my neice was born when she was, early in our ttc, because if she were born now I don't think I could deal with it.
*That someone I thought to be my best friend would hurt me by saying that she was sick of hearing about my efforts at ttc.
*That I'd discover who my true friends are, both IRL and online.
*That I'd ever be able to bond with my step-sister (also infertile).
*That I'd be glad to know that I have PCOS - because at least I know what's wrong.
*That I would know about other peoples' BD, CP, CM but not know there real name, their DH's name, or their occupation.
*That I could spend so much time and money on figuring out what my body is doing (or not doing).
*That I would have to rely on doctors to give me the final say-so on what I can or can't do (on a med/procedure break forced by my RE against my wishes)
*That foreplay would consist of DH asking "How's your cervix today"
*That an HSG will tell you more than just whether or not your tubes are blocked. I had no idea your uterus could be misshaped.
*That one person could be "cursed" with so many different fertility problems.
*That I should have become a gyno-which I think at this point I know more then some.
*That some people just say the wrong things.
*That a simple blood test costs $648!
*That sex would ever become a chore!
*That actually having a miscarriage would allow me to understand the loss that others have felt.
*That miscarriage would make me want a baby even more than before!
*That I would resent someone who has been trying less time than me telling me "I know how you feel..."
*That DH would be overly concerned that our BD positions were the most effective ones!
*That I would become NUMB to the wonderful world around me that I already have (DH, DD, family, friends, dogs, fun, etc)!
*That I would become addicted to POAS and not sleep at night because I couldn't wait to POAS in the morning!
*That I would be so sad, and ashamed.
*That I would learn to speak in codeLike I checked Cm which was EWCM but when I will POAS who knows, dh won't let me for fear of BFN
*That when AF showed up you would feel broken and disfunctional.
*That your friendships with your real life girlfriends would suffer because they got pregnant after being off the pill for 3 weeks.
*That this would be, by far, one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through.
*That you HAVE to have sex even though you don't feel like it, but because your FM says high or peak.
*That people would pity you and feel sorry for you.
*That I would meet such wonderful group of people that I can share my sorrow, frustration and fears with.
*That I would be going to a psychic to find out if there was a baby in my future (she told me twins in 3 to 5 months!)
*That I would dream about taking my temperature and be disappointed if I woke up at 3am and it wasn't time yet.
*That I would stop fantasizing about having a baby because it stopped making me happy.
*That I would buy herbs and otc creams like vitex and progest, use them for two days, and then chicken out.
*That I would hear well-meaning questions like: "Have you thought of taking your temperature?" (and this is after 20 months TTC...)
*That my brother, who started TTC at the same time we did and whose wife got PG three months later, would go on and on telling me how tough and tiring life with a baby is, and then finish with: "You have no idea what it's like!"
*That the two little words of "just relax" uttered by everyone I know would enfuriate me beyond belief.
*That someone would suggest adoption to me in order to get pregnant (because it happened to a friend of theirs) before I had even had any testing done.
*That we would have to schedule a BD session so DH could do it in a cup a few days later.
*That I would have to help DH do it in a cup. (Just this morning!)
*That my friends who started TTC #1 around the same time we did would already be pregnant with #2 before we get pregnant with #1.
*That I wouldn't be able to attend my friend's babies 1st birthday parties because of the quesiton, "So, when are ya'll going to have children."
*That the people around me would become more insensitive as time goes on. "It is so hard having a new baby, you just wouldn't understand." or "Be happy you're not tied down."
*That I would watch a Baby Story every day... only to cry every day.
*That it puts this much strain on a marriage.
*That I spent years trying not to get pregnant, and praying for my period. Now I can't seem to lose the witch!It's good to know I am not alone.
*That I would have to listen to people complain about their children as if they were burdens while a child is the one thing in the world I want the most. Also, they sound as if they are trying to talk me out of having kids, like it is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me.
*That being overweight would cause people to ask when I'm due, which in turn could cause me to cry.
*That I would yell at commercials on the TV (that "having a baby changes everything" one really gets to me. I can't watch it without snapping "So does not having one.")
*That I would have to stop watching Birth Day and A Baby Story (two shows I love) because it just hurts too much.
*That every girl should go to the gyn as soon as she gets AF the first time. If I had, I would have been dx with PCOS a lot faster.
*That a friend would hid and ignore her own pregnancy to try to keep me from being upset. (we found out when she gave birth)
*That sex does NOT ALWAY equal pregnancy or STD every time
*That your body has its own mind.
*That you would be keeping it a secret from everyone.
*That you would cry your eyeballs out b/c AF showed.
*That you would be jealous when everyone around you get pg including your 16yo cousin.
*That you would tell everyone you're not ready for a child when they ask what your waiting for. Life as you know it will be interrupted for two weeks.
*That the broken heart you feel each month that is equal to the pain you feel when you lose a loved one.
*That all of a sudden nursing other people's babies becomes a depressing NOT joyful feeling
*That you feel useless as a female
*That you will soon be lying through your teeth telling people that you don't want children
*That you feel that your body has betrayed you by not delivering a regular cycle, the right about of the required "hormones" or doing what it should now how to do.
*That you feel stupid and naive for thinking a pregnancy would occur "when it was supposed to".
*That answering questions (and usually lying) about pregnancy or family plans would hurt so bad.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Been bad at keeping up!

So I have not wrote in so long!!! I was away all last week in Tampa for work! I missed Lee so bad!!! I got so homesick being away from him! It was the first time we had been away from each other for more than a night. It sucked big time! But there was lots of BD'ing done when I got home! lol!

So I have decided it was time to stay off of APA for awhile! I just can't handle the stress of it any more. I always think about a baby and talk about it all of the time and I was starting to stress Lee out. So I made a pact to only go on 1 time a week for like 10 or 15 min and then get right back off. He said once I get prego that I can go back on it all I want. So far it has been good for my brain! lol! I don't constantly think about having a baby. So far it is helping!!!

I gotta get back to work. I will write more later! :)

Monday, July 21, 2008

Decided to make a change

So I decided it was time to make a change in my life. LOSE WEIGHT! I am way over weight and I need to get it off! I need to be healthy! Maybe if I finally get healthy, I will feel better about myself and maybe Lee and I will be able to have a baby!!! I need to do this for me and no one else. If I don't do this now, I don't think I ever will! I need to stop being lazy and get off my butt and kick this whole weight loss thing into gear! I CAN DO IT!!! No more quitting!!! Its time!!
Wish me lots of luck!!!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Back from vacation

So I am back from vacation! Boy was that needed. After having AF show a week late, I needed the relaxation and stress free time!!
The first saturday we were there, we went on a helicopter tour. Here are some pics from that:


Then we went to a Padres game. That was pretty fun. Pics from that:


Then we went on the USS Midway. Some pics from that:




Then we just hung around and shopped. We spent the 4th of July on this awesome suit that overlooked the entire bay. Here are some awesome pics from the 4th:




Then we went to the Wild Animal Park! We got the behind the scene tour. It was awesome! Here are some pics from that:


So it was such an awesome trip! It was great to get away! I had 10 wonderful days with Lee. Just what I needed. Now its back to the real world! :)
So if no BFP this month, we will be hitting our one year mark. If no BFP, I guess I will start charting again and using OPKs! So I guess we will just see what happens!



















Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I'm out but not down!

So AF showed up a week late! Poop on it! :) But I decided instead of being down and depressed, I will just move on. I was talking to my moms friend last night and was talking about Lee and I not getting prego. Well she told me she had to have medical assistance with all of her children. She told me that she knows it will happen for us even if we have to have medical assistance!! I sure hope so!!!
So now I guess I will continue to focus on getting in shape! And when that wonderful day we get our BFP, it will be all worth the hard work and the wait and heartach!!! I just can't wait to meet my precious little baby the day it comes!!!!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

I hate this!

I SO hate waiting for AF to either show or for me to get a BFP on a HPT!!! AF is now about 4 days late. I took a HPT on Wednesday and got a BFN, but I am thinking that maybe it was just to early?! So if AF is not here by Monday, I will test then! I just would like to know what is going on before I leave for San Diego!!!
I have had my period just stay away before for like 2 months, but I never had symptoms or anything. Now that I am a little better at knowing how my body reacts, I would like to think that maybe it is because I am prego!
Oh I hope so!!!!!!!!! I want it so bad!!!!! Hopefully my trip to San Diego is going to be a celebration trip!!!!

Monday, June 9, 2008

1 WW

So I am officially in the 1 ww!! I hate this wait!!! I have only a few small symptoms but I am not going to get excited about ANYTHING anymore!! My (.)(.) are a little sore and I have some heartburn but other than that..nothing. I just dont think that this is our month, but I guess I am not out until AF shows or I get a HPT that is a BFP! I am SO ready for our trip to San Diego!!!! If I am not prego, at least we get lots of chances to try in San Diego since I will be most fertile then and we will be gone for 10 days! So probably will BD everynight we are gone!!!

So onto the wait......tick tock! tick tock!!! I hate it!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

BLAH!

So my cold is STILL here! This sucks! I hate having a cold!!! Its so nasty! It just doesnt seem to be getting any better! I can't sleep very well at night because I can't breathe! The other night Lee went out in the living room and slept becasue he said I was making weird noises becasue I couldn't breathe! I was like oh great! So I just want this cold to be over with before I go to San Diego!

So last night I had a weird dream. I have had dreams before of me BEING pregnant, but last night I had a dream where I took a test and saw the + sign on the pregnancy test and I was all excited about it so I went and posted in APAs February Forum with my EDD being Feb 23. WEIRD!!! I just dont usually dream about APA or being pregnant! This was the first dream ever of me actually like seeing myself taking the test and watching the + sign appear! Maybe its a good sign of things to come....

I sure hope so! We are going on 11 months of TTC and I am getting really impatient! I don't want to wait anymore! I want to start a family! I didn't think it would take this long. I figured I would be prego by now! With it taking so long to get prego, I just get scare that maybe something is wrong? I dont want to think like that, but it scares me! I want to have kids and I want to start a family! I want to go through the whole pregnancy deal! I know everyone keeps telling me that it will happen when it is supposed to. YEAH I KNOW! But I want it to happen NOW!! I don't want to wait any longer! I want kids!!!!!!!!

Well enough of my ramblings...I need to get back to work!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Wow its been awhile!

So it has been awhile since I have wrote! So I am so sick right now! It sucks! I am all stuffed up and sick to my stomach! I hate being sick! Especially since it was so nice outside! I dont want to be lazy and be indoors all day!! Uck! I hope this cold goes away SOON!!!!

So I leave for San Diego in 25 days! I am SO excited!!! I am needing a vacation SO bad! I need to get away from work for a bit and just relax!!! I have never been to San Diego before so it should be lots and lots of fun! Hoping we are going to do some fun stuff!! Get some sun and relaxation! yay!!!! I can't wait! Hopefully Lee and I can get lots of BDing in and hopefully make a baby!! I can't wait!!!!!

Monday, May 19, 2008

So I am out! :(

So AF decided to show..LATE! GRRR!! I got my hopes up for NOTHING!! I hate that!!! Oh well. I guess onto next month.
We go to San Diego at the end of June for about 10 days so there is going to be lots of BD'ing and that is supposed to be around the time I ovulate so HOPEFULLY we will do it then!
I just hate getting all excited and then being let down. I cried so hard last night because I got a BFN and I thought AF was on the way!!!

I want to start a family so bad...I hope we can do it soon!!!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Oh the dredded wait!!!!

I hate this wait!!! I don't plan on testing until next week. AF is supposed to show on Saturday. Last two months, it has been 3 days early. Which if it was going to be 3 days early again, tomorrow would be the day it should show. But lets hope it stays away!!!
I try to not think about it, but how can't I?? I just go INSANE!!!!! I just dont want to be let down either though!!! So I am going to pray lots that I can try to keep myself sane over this next week. I will test next week if AF doesn't show her ugly face!!!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Praying this is my month!!!!

So I don't think I could take it if I get another BFN! I would just probably break down and cry! I just want it so bad!! Its been almost a year now that we have been trying and it sucks that we haven't got our BFP yet! I just feel like a failure when I dont get my BFP month after month! I just feel like it wont ever happen. I have stopped temping and stressing about it. I have tried to stay off APA as much as possible. It just stresses me out!! I just hope this month is our month! I want a baby and I want to give that special gift to Lee. I know how much he wants it!! I just hope and pray this is my month!!!!!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

House talk

A few nights ago Lee and I talked about a house. We have been wanting to move out of our apartment in hopes of getting a nice house. We still have some debt that we would like to get rid of. We have some credit cards and a loan we would like to take care of before we move. We figure that if we get some of our debt and get rid of our credit cards, our credit scores would go WAY up and we would be able to afford a nicer house. So we are thinking in about a year or two, we should be able to get a house. I sure hope so! I get sick of living in an apartment. I just feel like there is nothing that really is yours. You can't really do anything of your own in the apartment. So I hope we will get it all paid down and be able to get a house..SOON!!!!

So the weight is still slowly dropping off. So far I have lost about 7 lbs. Which is nice..but I still need to lose like a TON more!!!!!!! I can't wait. I can't wait to have a hot and sexy body...and then kill that when I have a baby! Which I would take any day! :)

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I am so PUMPED!

I am so excited to have this blog!!! I always try to keep my journal but I get so bad at it sometimes! I am so glad to have this to write all my feelings and stuff in!!!
So I have about 10 days until AF (aunt flow) is supposed to show up. But I have been having some slight cramping. So hopefully that is a gooooood sign!!!! I just want to start a family so bad!
I have deicded to stop temping and stop doing OPKS because they just stress me out!
DH's cousin called last night and was like ARE YOU PREGO YET? I was like no not yet. I hate having to say no. But soon I hope I can say YES!!!

Work has been crazy busy! I have been training all of the new people that we have and its a lot of work! It gets to be pretty stressful too!

I am excited to have my blog!! Hopefully I can remember to update it! :)